I once had an Irish American friend by the name of Bill Kelly who lived in Italy for several years. During his time there he became impressed with how they had a patron saint for everything. Santa Clara for example was the patron saint of television because one day when she was too ill to get out of bed to attend mass, she saw the entire mass by clairevoyance.

Anyway Bill was impressed by the canonization process and the preservation of popes' innards and various body parts of saints as relics and of course the story of Saint Thomas Aquinas, who was quite stout and who died in a monastary of a different order and when his order demanded the body back, they first boiled his body and rendered off the fat onto cotton swans which they later sold as relics before returning him. Always enterprising Catholic clerics...

Bill was also impressed by the manner in which certain saints were matyred. Santa Agata, poor dear had a masdectamy. Saint Lawrence was grilled alive and managed to retain a sense of humor, as at one point during his martyredom, he sat up on one elbow and said: "Turn me over, I'm done on this side..."

So in light of all this information Bill in a very dark humor decided to come up with a menu for All Saints Day
as follows:

Per Antipasta: Sofritto Di Papa

Per Brodo: un doppio brodo di San Tomaso Aquino

Per Secondo piatto: Pette di Pollo di Santa Agata

Opure: San Lorenzo a i Ferri

Per dolce: Saint Honore

Ecco fatto!

Saluti da,

Brian Appleton