I understand that both mean "to be", but for different reasons.

I am happy vs I am a lawyer.

She is pretty vs she is a mother.


Right?

And if I'm right...which one works for which "to be"?

Stare could also be translated as stay
Stai qui - stay here but most of the time is used as to be
Sono stato a Firenze - I have been in Florence
Sono stato male - I have been sick
but Stammi lontano ...stay away from me - Anyway I am no linguist so I have no point in my examples...just giving a few examples- sorry

She is pretty would be translated with essere:

è bella.

Stare is also used with the present progressive which is used to describe things that are happening right now:

Sto parlando = I am speaking

stare is used to say how you feel:
sto bene = I am well.

so yes......both stare and essere CAN mean "to be" but they are used for different purposes. I am speaking = sto parlando but I am tall = sono alto. The trick is memorizing when to use which one. The same thing happens in Spanish with the verbs ser and estar!

essere is used for: saying what your job is, describing yourself, saying the time and date, saying your origen, it is also used as an auxilary verb in the past tense.

Stare would be used for the present progresive, and can be used to mean "stay" it can also be used to say how you feel...either well, or bad, etc.

I hope this helps. It is difficult to give somebody a lesson on the net like this!

I think this is another example of not thinking in english. Just memorize it in italian and it'll be less confusing

Actually, Villa gave a very long lesson on this subject which I have copied in My Documents. It must be in the archives of this category somewhere this year. I hesitate to put it back up because it wasn't my post and it was very long - but very good. You might try looking for it. The heading was "Essere vs. Stare".

A general tip (not always valid) to help memory:
Use essere when it's something more permanent, like I'm tall=Sono alto (you are always tall), and stare for less permanent things like I'm ill=Sto male (You're ill just for now, not permanently)

__________________

This is how my teacher described it: Use Essere- to be- for Profession/trade, Nationality, Physical or mental characteristics, Possession, and Idiomatic expressions. Use Stare- to be- for Health, When you are doing something right now!, when something is about to happen, and the good old idiomatic expressions. (This really is a summing up of everyone else's input already given) Ciao!

ESSERE AND STARE

While essere can be translated into English by using the verb to be, the other verb stare can either mean to stay (when used alone) or to be (when followed by an adjective or by a verb).
This page tries to focus when to use them correctly.


When followed by an adjective, essere expresses a quality, or a condition:
(egli) Lui è bravo = he is clever
(io) ero stanco = I was tired
(essi) saranno pronti = they will be ready or they may be ready (dubitative shade of meaning)
(voi) siete cordiali = you are cheerful

It is also used as an auxiliary verb in forming compound tenses of many intransitive verbs (paragraph 6.4):
(io) sono venuto = I came (I have come)
(tu) eri tornata = you had come back
(noi) eravamo usciti = we had gone out
(essi) saranno cresciuti = they will have grown up, or they may have grown up

Since the verb essere lacks a past participle (see again paragraph 6.1), in forming compound tenses the past participle of stare, i.e. stato, is used as a replacement, including its feminine and plural forms stata, stati, state:
(io) sono ® (io) sono stato / stata = I am; I have been
(tu) eri ® (tu) eri stato / stata = you were; you had been
(voi) sarete ® (voi) sarete stati / state = you will be; you may have been

In the same way, the imperative tense of stare replaces the missing one of essere:
(tu) stà qui! = (you) stay here!
(tu) stà zitto! = (you) be quiet! = shut up!
(voi) state fermi! = (you plural ) stay still!


Stare is also used as an auxiliary verb before the gerund, either in the present, imperfect or future indicative tenses, as already discussed in paragraph 18.1:
(egli / ella) sta mangiando = he / she is eating
(noi) stavamo dormendo = we were sleeping
(tu) starai leggendo = you will be reading, or you may be reading
(essi) staranno studiando = they may be studying


Besides the use as an auxiliary verb, in the spoken language stare commonly replaces essere to express the idea of somebody or something existing, resting, staying, remaining in a given place, almost to underline the static condition of the subject. In other words, stare describes the fact of being in some place as if this was an action, while essere describes it as a state, or a condition.
Both forms may be used, although the one with stare is more colloquial:
(io) sto qui ~ (io) sono qui = I am here
(tu) stai a casa ~ (tu) sei a casa = you are at home
(io) starò in Francia ~ (io) sarò in Francia = I will be in France
dove sta il mio bastone? ~ dov'è il mio bastone? (note the inverted subject) = where is my stick?
i giornali stanno sul tavolo ~ i giornali sono sul tavolo = the newspapers are on the table
in agosto staremo al mare ~ in agosto saremo al mare = in August we'll be at the seaside
le biciclette stavano nella rimessa ~ le biciclette erano nella rimessa = the bycicles were in the shed


Stare is more correctly used when expressing a physical position (but also in this case essere may be used as an alternative verb):
(essi) stanno seduti = they are sitting = they are staying seated
(noi) stavamo fermi = we were still = we were staying still
(ella) sta in piedi = she is standing
udendo quel rumore, il cane stette immobile = hearing that noise, the dog stayed still
il bambino stava carponi sul tappeto = the child was on his fours over the carpet


The verb stare is also commonly used to express and/or to inquire about health conditions (to be, to feel), either alone or followed by an adverb, such as the following ones:

bene (well, fine),
male (sick, not well),
meglio (better),
peggio (worse),
benissimo (very well),
malissimo (very bad),
and so on. In this case only stare can be used, while essere is NOT allowed:
come stai? = how are you? ~ how do you feel?
sto bene = I am (feeling) well
non stiamo troppo bene = we are not too well
stava male = he / she was feeling sick
domani starete meglio = tomorrow you will be (feel) better
ieri stavamo peggio = yesterday we were (feeling) worse
stanno ottimamente = they are (feeling) perfectly well


But when adjectives are used, such as malato (sick), depresso (depressed), allergico (allergic), etc., the only verb allowed is essere (i.e. the only verb that can be used with adjectives, to express a condition), and stare cannot be used.


è malato = he is sick
siete allergici = you are allergic
ero depresso = I was depressed
è stordito = he is drowsy
eravate preoccupati? = were you worried?


So, talking about health (including a person's psychic condition), the two possible schemes are:

stare + adverb or essere + adjective

This does not override any of the aforesaid general rules, so the verb stare is also used in forming compound tenses:

sono depresso = I am depressed
sono stato depresso = I have been depressed

eravate ansiosi = you were anxious
siete stati ansiosi = you have been anxious

Be careful not to mistake adjectives, as the ones used in the previous examples, with the past participle of some verbs. Here the verb is shown in red (but not the adjective):

sono malato = I am sick
sono is the present tense of essere, and malato is a real adjective

sono guarito = I have recovered
sono guarito is the passato prossimo (present perfect) of guarire = to recover, whose past participle is guarito

erano depressi = they were depressed
erano is the imperfetto tense of essere; depressi is a real adjective

erano peggiorati = they had worsened
erano peggiorati is the trapassato prossimo (past perfect) of peggiorare = to worsen, whose past participle is peggiorato

The difference appears more clearly by reversing the tenses, i.e. by turning the first and third example into the same tenses used in the second and fourth sentences, and vice-versa.

sono malato (presente) = I am sick
sono stato malato (passato prossimo) = I have been sick

erano depressi (imperfetto) = they were depressed
erano stati depressi (trapassato prossimo) = they had been depressed

sono guarito (passato prossimo) = I am sick
guarisco (presente) = I recover

erano peggiorati (trapassato prossimo) = they had worsened
peggioravano (imperfetto) = they worsened




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A further use of the verb stare is with the preposition per, followed by the infinitive of another verb. This expresses an action that is very close to happen (either in time or as a chance), usually translated in English as to be on the point of..., to be almost..., etc.:
il treno sta per partire = the train is on the point of leaving
(essi) stavano per rifiutare quel lavoro = they had almost refused that job
(io) sto per andare a letto = I am on the point of going to bed
(egli) è stato per morire = he was on the point of dying, he almost died
stanno per cominciare gli esami (note the postponed subject) = the exams are going to begin

Essere vs Stare

essere - to be
io sono ("I am")
tu sei ("you are")
Lei /lei (lui) è ("you (formal)/he/she/it is")
noi siamo ("we are")
voi siete ("you (plural) are")
Loro/essi(-e)/loro sono ("you (old formal plural)/they (things and persons)/they (persons) are")

stare - to stay
io sto ("I stay")
tu stai ("you stay")
Lei /lei (lui) sta ("you (formal)/he/she/it stays")
noi stiamo ("we stay")
voi state ("you (plural) stay")
Loro/essi(-e)/loro stanno ("you (old formal plural)/they (things and persons)/they (persons) stay")


Essere is used to indicate more permanent aspects of people or things, such as -
Identity - Io sono Carla. ("I am Carla")
Profession - Lui è un professore. ("He is a professor.")
Origin - Noi siamo di Milano. ("We are from Milan.")
Religious or political affiliation - Tu sei cattolico? ("You are Catholic?")
Time of day or date - Sono le otto. ("It is 8 o'clock.")
Possession - La casa è di Giovanna. ("It is Giovanna's house.")
Nationality - Sono Italiano. ("I am from Italy.")
Physical aspects or characteristics of something - Le sedie sono verdi. ("The chairs are green.")
Essential qualities of something or someone - Sono vecchio. Sei antipatico.((LOL!) ("I am old. You are unpleasant.")
Location - La sedia è in cucina. ("The chair is in the kitchen.")
but also, more rarely - La sedia sta in cucina. ("The chair is in the kitchen.")
Condition or emotion that is subject to change - Sono malato. ("I am sick.")
Personal observations or reactions, how something "seems" or "feels" - La cucina è pulita. ("The kitchen is (seems) clean.")

Stare is used to indicate precise locations, in idioms and as auxiliary, such as -
Idiomatic sentences - Sto bene.("I am well.")
Idiomatic sentences - Sto male.("I feel bad.")
Location - La sedia sta in cucina. ("The chair is in the kitchen.")
Continuous tense - Sto correndo.("I am running.")

Notes: Notice that the verb form used for things like la sedia is the egli/ella/esso(-a) form. A chair is an "it" (below, you'll
see that it's actually a "she"), which uses the lui/lei/esso(-a) form of the verb. Also notice that you can make sentences like
Sono Italiano, without including the pronoun. To English speakers this may seem like saying "Am from Italy", which we would never
do, but in Italian, because the subject can be figured out by the form of the verb used (since the sentence used sono, the subject
must be io, or I), there is no confusion about who the subject of the sentence is and the pronoun can be left out. If it would be
unclear what the subject of the sentence is, then the pronoun has to be included.
The above lists of when to use essere and stare have to be memorized - using them incorrectly means you will be less likely to be
understood, and people will definitely know you are not a native speaker. The same goes for the conjugations of essere and stare.
Every Italian verb has a conjugation, and memorizing them just goes along with learning the language.

....AND..... We also have:
STAI IN CAMPANA (Stay in the bell) that means: 'Whatch out !'
STAI FRESCO (You are fresh): ....hei, Paolo and Zidanie how can we translate 'Stai fresco' !?!
STO UNA FAVOLA (I stay in a fairytale) that means: "I feel great"
STO ALLA FRUTTA (I'm at fruits) that means: "I'm exhausted"
STO A SECCO (I'm dry) that means: "I have no fuel"
STO AL VERDE (I'm at green) that means: "I'm broke"
STO A TERRA (I'm on the ground) that means: "I'm depressed"
STO A PEZZI (I'm into pieces) that means: "I'm sick and tired"
STAI A CAVALLO (You stay on the horse) that means: "You succeeded"
STO CON L'ACQUA ALLA GOLA (I'm with water at the throat) that means: "I have no time or possibility to do what I have to do"
STO A CARISSIMO AMICO (I'm at 'Very dear friend') that means: "I'm at the very beginning"

...and NON STA NE' IN CIELO NE' IN TERRA (It's neither in the sky nor on the earth) that means: "It's absurd"