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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight:
'Searching for Jesus.'
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Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
conflict.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone
who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.
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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will
sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in=2 the
church. So ends a friendship
that began in their school days.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will
be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - Prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of
every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in
the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at
10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the
B.S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend
him their electric girdles
for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday
at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
use the large double
doors at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
last Sunday : 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'

There are some very funny lines here.
Those reglious types are funny people
without even knowing it.

"The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan
last Sunday : 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours'" LOL!

Would a non native speaker of English or somebody just learning English understand this or get the humor behind it?
Seems even the native speaker of English who wrote it didn't get it. LOL!

"The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of
every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon." LOL!