Is this a stero-typing situation? I have not found too many that are so
hot tempered, like I thought from all the Italian Americans I grew up with- everyone seemed to think if they had a bad hot temper, that they could be Italian too.. I think it's ridiculous. I even think that the Irish have worse tempers and Greeks as opposed to Italians..the only ones I've found with the semi-bad tempers were those from Napoli-

Hi Jacqueline,

What I noticed while in Italy was that Italians will 'argue' loudly about everything... but it can't be looked at as arguing as we think about it in the USA. They're not really mad, and they're not really arguing... and no one's feelings get hurt and no one takes it personally.

It's loud, it's certainly an 'argument' in the sense that those two people are disagreeing about something - say, who gets the last dolce at the bar - but Italians seem to realize that they can disagree quite vociferously and then smile and go on about their day without thinking about it again or holding a grudge. We in the U.S. might stew about it, tell our friends and families, and be on the lookout for that person the next day and try to beat them to the bar.

I am reminded of two things... and I'll start a new post about this after I post this.

1) We have a long history in the U.S. of being exposed to the extremes of Italian culture via the media - The Sopranos, The Godfather, Goodfellas, etc. So when we think "Italian" and "temper" we immediately think "What would Tony do?" That's always a bad result.

2) Last summer I spoke with an Italian man who had just returned to Italy after a trip to New York and he told me that the Italian culture in New York seemed to have kind of halted for those Italians when they came here to the states, and while Italy continued on into the 19th, 20th, 21st century, the Italians in the U.S. held onto their "Italian-ness," which really turns out to only exist in Little Italy in New York. He said "the Italians in New York are more Italian than Italians are.'

Don't know how true that is, just what my friend told me.

Teresa

Hmm, that is very debatable. mmm, I am not sure how to think about that one. The Italians in NYC are more like real Italians then Italians in Italy...the only thing is..they are not Europeans anymore. They are always more adapted to the American way of life...so I am not sure..slowly they will certainly lose many Italian ways, I don't know how they can stay more Italian--maybe, they are only holding onto OLD Italy, as Italy now is joining a more modernized world.

I think Teresa was referring to the Italian mentality in NYC. And it's probably an unconscious desperation to maintain those old values they came here with because they aren't home. I know an italian lady here in atlanta that still doesn't speak English and she's been here 40 years.

All the Italians I have met are from Italy, and not expatriates. They do tend to gesticulate a lot, and get pretty impassioned sometimes, especially during arguments. This does not necessarily mean they have quick tempers, but just that they feel strongly about issues.

My Italian teacher is one of the most patient people I have known. She never loses her cool even when I manage to mess up the grammar she has painstakingly taught me for weeks!

She does make an interesting observation, however. She feels that Italians in general are not known to be reliable. They do not think much of their commitments in terms of business, and may often be late for an appointment. Since she herself is scrupulously on time, and is dependable to a fault, I really dont know what to believe!

Ciao a tutti,

I was thinking about my earlier posts and I'd like to clarify... yep, I was referring to the mind-set of the Italian-Americans in NY. There seems to be this feeling (not with all of them, of course) that they have to personify what it means to be ITALIAN. The Italians I have met, the ones who live in Italy, seem to want to just be who they are. They don't have to BE Italians, they just are.

Teresa

They are, generally speaking, more passionate, not more aggressive.

I think of "bad temper" as a tendency to get angry and consequently aggressive.

Do I have this wrong?

I believe it's not a bad temper. Just as someone stated above it is a passion we have. We do as we can to get our points accross. I am Italian and grew up in NY =)
My fathers father was from Procida, grandmother was from Napoli
My moms grandparents were both from Silicia
I do get told I can have a bad temper or I hav e short fuse. I tend to dissagree though.

Salve,

I worked for a Greek man who owned a pizza restaurant.
His wife was from Italy.
They used to have these fights during which kitchen implements -- including pans and knives (no, I am not kidding) would fly through the air.

Customers were used to it, the wait staff was used to it, and afterward the owner and his wife would kiss and make up, and wonder what the heck was wrong with all of us who thought it was just a tiny bit excessive.

Italian tempers aren't the only ones to be wary of. :D

Teresa